“I’m bored!”
When my then-five-year-old granddaughter first started uttering these words while I was babysitting, my usual reaction was to try to solve the problem for her.
I would typically respond, “Well, then, let’s play a game” or something similar, and then start searching the toy box or bookshelf for the needed activity or distraction.
It didn’t take long, however, for me to see that, no matter what idea I’d come up with, it would never quite do the trick. So now, I simply turn it around and give her the responsibility to find a new activity.
And if that fails, I tell her, “It’s not my job to amuse you.”
But, of course, this begs the question: What exactly is my job, besides keeping her safe and sound?
I’ve always believed that grandparents can be one of the most positive influences in a child’s life. Maybe it’s the freedom that comes with age, or the perspective earned through years of trial and grace, but I’ve come to see my role with my four grandchildren as something both joyful and deeply meaningful.
I love them dearly. It’s a bond that’s not only bred in the bone, but also made of small moments: shared meals, silly jokes, quiet talks, and the kind of trust that grows only when love is steady and consistent.
And beneath all the fun and affection, I’m always aware of something else I’m trying to give them: values that will guide them long after I’m gone.
I talk to them about kindness, honesty, patience, and courage. And most of all, I return again and again to the Golden Rule—treat others as you yourself want to be treated. It’s simple, but it’s the foundation of so much good in this world.
Still, I know that words alone aren’t enough. Children watch more than they listen. So I try to model the behaviour I hope they’ll carry into their own lives. When I make a mistake, I admit it.
And when they do something thoughtful or generous, I make sure they know how proud I am.
I know I won’t be here forever, but the lessons I pass on—through stories, through conversations, through the quiet example of how I try to live—those can last. They can ripple outward into the choices my grandchildren make, the people they become, and the kindness they show to others.
And that, to me, is one of the greatest gifts a grandparent can give.
Terry O’Neill is a veteran journalist with a 35-year career in print and broadcast media and a former two-term Coquitlam City Councillor. He writes for The B.C. Catholic, has served on the boards of Signal Hill Life Education Society and other community organizations, and has received multiple journalism and humanitarian awards. He is the founder of Blooms into Rooms: The Easter Flowers Project, which he has led for more than 30 years.