I'm Dr. Suzanne Simpson and I am on Signal Hill's Advisory Council. For 30 years I've worked as an educator, including in a psychiatric unit for adolescents where I taught hundreds of young people to advocate for themselves. My doctoral research revealed something crucial: self-advocacy isn't just about school. It's the foundation for every relationship, workplace challenge, and life decision your child will face. I've also walked through this journey with my own two grown children, teaching them to find their voice when it felt hard.
At Signal Hill, we believe every child has intrinsic worth. Teaching them to advocate for themselves is teaching them their voice matters.
Why This Matters Now
When your child is struggling in school, every parent wants to fix it. It's so easy to quickly email the teacher and schedule a meeting to make sure your child gets what they need. But when we always do the advocating for our kids, we can accidentally teach them they can't do it themselves. When they face a difficult boss at 25 or navigate a challenging relationship, they may not know how because we never taught them.
Self-advocacy teaches children their needs matter. Their struggles matter. Their voice matters. It's how they learn their intrinsic worth.
What Teachers Need You to Know
Understanding these five truths changes everything for kids:
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Teachers aren't all-knowing. We don't know what's happening unless you tell us.
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We want you to succeed. None of us became teachers to watch students fail.
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We love communicators. Students who tell us what they need get incredible support.
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We want to know what's going on. When we know better, we respond better.
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Your voice matters to us. Hidden struggles help no one.
Building Self-Advocacy: A Progressive Approach
Self-advocacy isn't something kids learn overnight. It's a skill that builds with practice, starting with your full support and gradually moving toward independence. Think of these as levels, not steps. Your child might stay at Level 1 for months, and that's okay. The goal isn't speed; it's building the confidence and capability they'll need for life. Whether they're advocating with a future employer, in a relationship, or navigating their own healthcare, this foundation starts now.
Level 1: Write It Together
Start by drafting an email with your child. Elementary students need your full support. Middle schoolers can do more of the writing while you guide. High schoolers should own the words while you edit.
Level 2: Let Them Write Alone
As confidence builds, have them write their own email. You review it, but they're doing the work.
Level 3: Go in Person with Backup
Your child approaches the teacher while you're there for support. Practice beforehand: "Hi Mr. Chen, I wanted to talk about..." Let them lead.
Level 4: They Go Independently
The goal. Your child advocates alone. This takes time to build, but it's essential for their future.
What Happens Next
When students learn to self-advocate, teachers step up with care and support. Students feel seen, not singled out. Their confidence grows. They do better in school. But more importantly, they learn their voice matters. They discover they can articulate what they need in future careers, relationships, and life challenges.
Start small. Meet your child where they are. If they're too anxious to write alone, write together. If they're not ready to go in person, let them email first. Progress, not perfection.
The Email Template That Actually Works
Teach your child this three-part structure:
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This is what I struggle with. ("I have dyslexia." "I feel anxious during tests." "Reading aloud is hard for me.")
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This is what helps me. ("Audiobooks help." "I need breaks when overwhelmed." "Can I sit at the front?")
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Show gratitude. ("Thank you for your time." "I appreciate your help.")
Teachers respond incredibly well to this because it's clear, respectful, and shows responsibility.
Because teaching your child to advocate for themselves teaches them something deeper: they have intrinsic worth, they deserve to be heard, and they are capable. They are worth fighting for. And teaching them to fight for themselves is one of the greatest gifts you can give.
Want to hear more about teaching kids to self-advocate? Listen to the full Just Me episode "Self-Advocacy - The #1 Skill Your Kids Need At School" from the Get On Their Turf podcast where I break down exactly what to say and how to support your child through this process.
🎧 Listen to this episode:
Disclaimer: Please note that the contents of this blog are not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. My scope of practice is as an educator, and this work is intended to provide information for educational purposes only.
Dr. Suzanne Simpson is an educator with 30 years of experience in classrooms, alternative schools, and a psychiatric unit for adolescents. Her doctoral research focused on supporting the mental health and wellness of young people. She hosts the Get On Their Turf podcast and provides resources for parents and educators at www.drsuzannesimpson.com